The Beyonce Experience

I am a Beyonce fan and I am not ashamed to admit it!!! She's a phenomenal performer with a great voice....a few too many runs but a phenomenal singer nonetheless. BUT have you ever seen her in interviews??? Her personality SUX! Everything seems contrived. She reminds me of some sort of living mannequin. All the charisma that she has on stage vanishes. It's sad and kinda pathetic. I wouldn't want to be her friend but then again she probably wouldn't want to be my friend...

Anyway, here is one of my favorite youtube videos. It shows B in all her crazy, charismatic glory. Clearly she's doing the MOST and its hilarious! Enjoy...oh and if you've seen this before, oh well watch it again :0p

WASH YOUR DAMN HANDS...

A coworker sent me a link to an article about "Socialista" in the West Village having a Hepatitis A scare (yup...Doing the MOST). Apparently, one of its bartenders contracted the virus while on vacation. So how exactly is Hepatitis A spread....the article says:

"Hepatitis A is a liver disease caused by a virus. It's spread by putting something in one's mouth (even though it might look clean) that is contaminated with traces of fecal matter from the infected person."

FECAL MATTER FROM THE INFECTED PERSON....

Let that marinate for a lil bit........I'm going to take a deep breath........

The only way...there could possibly be fecal matter on a glass is if the bartender DID NOT WASH HIS DAMN HANDS.

WTF PEOPLE.... W T F!!! We live in AMERICA...not a 3rd world country. We have running water with state-of-the-art plumbing. A BLACK MAN IS ABOUT TO BE PRESIDENT for crying out loud and some nasty people still haven't evolved enough to understand the importance of washing their hands. There is no excuse for not washing your hands.

And while I'm on the topic...this is why the flu is so damn prevalent this season. Spreading like a brush fire....

JUST NASTY!!!

Here's the link if you want to read the article

http://wcbstv.com/local/hepatitis.west.village.2.659882.html

Sllim

How is Meteorology a legit career path...

Work was closed today on account of the snow. Even though I'm happy to be at home, I do think that it is a bit ridiculous that the agency is automatically closed if NYC public schools are closed especially when:

1. Most of the employees don't even have kids
2. Half who do have kids don't even live in NYC
3. The half that do live in NYC and have kids send them to private school

Anyway, how crazy is it that meterologist, people who's job is to predict the weather, can be wrong 75% of the time and not be fired???? I do realize that a great deal goes into their predictions and that meterology is a science but really think about it. The only time of the year that they have a chance at being right is summer...like July and August. Honestly we could all be meterologists at that time...its pretty obvious that its gonna be sunny. If there are clouds...sunny and partly cloudy. Gray clouds...Sunny with a chance of rain. I will cut them slack given that global warming has the planets climates all f***ed up. I'm sure that does make their chances of being right about the weather highly unlikely. That brings us back to the title of the blog...How is it a legit career path. Seems like to me it may be on a downward spiral.

Words of wisdom for the fellas...

Over the past week I've had no less that 5 of my guy friends bring up the "issue" of crazy females. They all can't seem to understand what they have done to end up dealing with a crazy chick. To them, a girl that was perfect in their eyes....attractive...smart....fun to be around...and most importantly SANE suddenly does a 180 and is completely and utterly INSANE. Saying and doing things that are completely irrational and well.....CRAZY.

You've all heard the statement before "Women are unstable creatures". Not true. Women are just flat out emotional. Some moreso then others. I'm not very emotional...I operate on unadulterated logic. Chances are if I can't make something make logical sense...I'm not doing it. Not true for the average female. They are running on pure emotion. It can be dangerous and should not be F***ed with (I could give detailed examples of emotion gone wrong...but I'll refrain).

I'm sure all of the men are shaking their heads in agreement but still thinking "This is not wisdom...I know this already"...riiiiiight.

Somehow when it comes to sex...yall completely forget that females tend to be emotional. Its all fun and games....until she catches feelings. Especially if its good sex. Please note the equation below (some of you should get it tattooed on your hand...kinda like an adult cheat sheet...)

Emotional Woman + Good Sex = CRAZY or simply EW + GS = C

I don't know why this is sooo hard for yall to understand. Usually sex is not just sex to a female. I'm going to go out on a limb here and say you can probably get away with having sex (good sex) with a typcal female about 3 times (within a short time frame) before she begins to catch feelings. If you space it out over 3 months....you can possibly get a few more in but this is not guaranteed.

And fellas...if it is good...please do not be fooled...its sex that the woman is obssessed with...not you...sorry :0(

I hope this helps all who have been confused recently. Ladies, I hope your not mad...yall tend to do the MOST...this is for the best.

Be mindful of what your doing in the bedroom folks....

Sllim

This is why I hate Facebook...

I'm in a meeting yesterday in the boardroom. This isn't your normal run of the mill conference room. Its a HUGE glass table with 15 seats and all sorts of state of the art a/v equiptment. I'm at the head of the table with my laptop cause I'm leading the presentation. There is already 7 or 8 people in the room. As my team awaits the arrival of the rest of the attendees, a collegue yells down the table:

"So Sllim, I saw that your status on Facebook is 'no longer single'....."

WTF???!!!! INAPPROPRIATE!!!

Clearly, I had to get my mind right quickly and remember that I am at WORK and that although this broad has decided to be inappropriate that I should not follow suit. So I just say...

"I simply streamlined my profile. Thats all." "I didn't designate any other status option. Just removed that from my profile all together"

This folks, is why I hate Facebook. It enables nosey-ass people to be just that...NOSEY! I've actually considered deleting my Facebook profile for a while. If I knew my senior year of college what I know now about Facebook, I would have NEVER created a profile. It started out as this great "college-only" community. It was all fun and games. Then, suddenly my younger sis, who's in HS, was on...then my old boss...now my client's have profiles. NOT OK! I never had a Myspace page and Facebook without a doubt has become 10 times worst. It's not even fun anymore!!!

And then what makes it sooo bad is that people really take the internet, especially social networking sites, WAAAAAY tooo seriously. stupidGENIUS has an excellent post on his blog about this http://youngplusignorant.blogspot.com/2008/02/people-take-internet-way-too-seriously.html


Sllim

Aretha Revisited

HOT ASS MESS. Imma need for Aretha to do better.

My bed is HOT...

At the risk of coming across as a complete idiot I'm going to share this story with you.

I noticed a welt on my left leg Monday morning in the shower. I'm thinking "hmmm...thats strange...I wonder what that came from". The only thing I've done differently recently was use a new lotion and add an electric blanket to my bed. I'm thinking maybe I'm having an allergic reaction to the lotion or maybe because the blanket was packed away it contianed bed bugs. But the welt didn't itch. So I'm like...maybe i bumped it and dont remember and let it go. Tuesday, I wake up and now theres 1 on my right thigh. Now I'm slightly concerned.

I get to work and share the story with a friend. We talk about the size, shape and location of the welts. I mention the lotion and blanket thing. As we talk and I reveal to him that I dont have the electric blanket OVER me and between sheets and other blankets....noo that would be too much like right...instead I have the electric blanket UNDER the fitted sheet and I'm lying on it (Yup...I'm doing the MOST). He concludes that these aren't bug bites or a rash but are burns.... The "welt" I found on my left thigh followed a night of sleeping on my left side. The "welt" on my right thigh appeared after sleeping on my right side.

Yes folks...I've managed to turn my bed into a plush version of a George Forman Grill and my dumbass is basically an oiled down chicken cutlet! I've done this in past winters with no problem. But now the blanket apparently has a short...sooooo...I basically put it on high fall asleep and god only knows what kind of heat variations happen while I sleep like a log in an empty forest.

The blanket has been removed...

Sllim