Thursday, February 14, 2008

My bed is HOT...

At the risk of coming across as a complete idiot I'm going to share this story with you.

I noticed a welt on my left leg Monday morning in the shower. I'm thinking "hmmm...thats strange...I wonder what that came from". The only thing I've done differently recently was use a new lotion and add an electric blanket to my bed. I'm thinking maybe I'm having an allergic reaction to the lotion or maybe because the blanket was packed away it contianed bed bugs. But the welt didn't itch. So I'm like...maybe i bumped it and dont remember and let it go. Tuesday, I wake up and now theres 1 on my right thigh. Now I'm slightly concerned.

I get to work and share the story with a friend. We talk about the size, shape and location of the welts. I mention the lotion and blanket thing. As we talk and I reveal to him that I dont have the electric blanket OVER me and between sheets and other blankets....noo that would be too much like right...instead I have the electric blanket UNDER the fitted sheet and I'm lying on it (Yup...I'm doing the MOST). He concludes that these aren't bug bites or a rash but are burns.... The "welt" I found on my left thigh followed a night of sleeping on my left side. The "welt" on my right thigh appeared after sleeping on my right side.

Yes folks...I've managed to turn my bed into a plush version of a George Forman Grill and my dumbass is basically an oiled down chicken cutlet! I've done this in past winters with no problem. But now the blanket apparently has a short...sooooo...I basically put it on high fall asleep and god only knows what kind of heat variations happen while I sleep like a log in an empty forest.

The blanket has been removed...

Sllim

4 comments:

Christine said...

you are sooo f-ing hilarious. I'm going to start calling your comments (yourname)-isms. Starting with "I've managed to turn my bed into a plush version of a George Forman Grill and my dumbass is basically an oiled down chicken cutlet!" WTF!!!!

Joshua said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Joshua said...

yeah that definitely was a good one! I had some popcorn while I was reading that story...mad suspenseful!

Nkechi said...

Oiled down chicken cutlet Sllim? Come on...LOL!