Friday, December 19, 2008

Pathmark is NOT recession proof...



Apparently last week Pathmark ran out of the standard grocery store plastic bags. Instead they laid out what were basically clear trash bags....TRASH BAGS FOLKS!!!! Newly untouched, unconsumed FOOD to be transported in TRASH BAGS!!! What mass grocery store runs out of plastic bags??? Has it really come to this???!!!! I mean DAMN...

So clearly I was in disbelief that they had resorted to this but outside of that I was truly embarrassed to be seen walking to the train or anything like that with my food in trash bags with knots at the top like my ass just came back from the food pantry...

WTF Pathmark...WTF.

I feel like I should now call Pathmark before going to pick up groceries to make sure they have traditional plastic bags..."Hi, do you have plastic bags.....with handles to put groceries in today??"...

RIDICULOUS!

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Rupaul...Doing the MOST

How long do you think it took Andre Charles (his mama named him Andre Charles, Imma call him Andre Charles) to come up with this idea?

I have to say, you know someone has truly reached iconic status when they are portrayed in drag. All those boys portraying Tina Turner now have a new persona to assume...Watch out now!!!

Brooklyn STAND-UP

"Ain't nothing like a Brooklyn Girl"

And no I wasn't born and raised in BK but it's where I reside now (and where I'll stay as long as I'm in NYC). It's not where your from, it's where your @.


Guilty Pleasure...

I absolutely love this video. I'm not sure if it's because its freaking hilarious, or that its a Bollywood remake of MJ, or if it's because it's awesomely eighties. Clearly I may have some issues. Don't judge...

Sunday, December 7, 2008

The Polar Bear Commercial Pissed Me Off...

Let me preface this post by saying that I understand the impact of global warming and the importance of preserving the planet and animals for future generations. What I don't get is why I just saw what had to have been a 2min TV ad from the World Wildlife Federation asking for donations/support to help save the polar bears.

Let me reiterate....I understand the impact of global warming and the importance of preserving the planet and animals for future generations BUT seriously....F**K the polar bears right now. Why not have a 2min commercial about Darfur...Let's preserve some people.

Beyond that, the US is in a recession! RECESSION...and they want to air commercials about saving some damn bears??!!!

Their cute and cuddly...I get it....the cubs are starving....I get it....but seriously....SERIOUSLY??!! I'm sure there are thousands upon thousands of impoverished women (HUMANS for those who are slow) who, due to the recession, are not able to provide food for their children and therefore the KIDS (little humans for those who are slow) are starving!!!

Polar bears....gotta be kidding me.....

Friday, December 5, 2008

OBAMA's CITIZENSHIP IN QUESTION

Yup its true...its going all the way to the Supreme Court.

As a side note...I was going to CNN.com everyday, several times a day before the election to see the drama unfold. It was as good as (if not better) than going to celeb gossip sites. I'm sure other people were doing the same. This issue is exactly why people have to be sure to stay informed on what's going on in politics and in the world in general. The election isn't really over until Obama is sworn in. Clearly people will do ANYTHING to prevent him from taking the Oath of Office.

STAY INFORMED FOLKS!!!!

ANTE UP!!!!

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

HILARIOUS....no really...it is



My Blondie shared this 1. Thanks Lis or should I say Lisa FIERCE :0)

Thursday, November 13, 2008

GAP ADS ARE BACK!!!

So, when I would go to interviews for my first job in advertising, they would ask "What's your favorite ad campaign" my answer was always "The GAP ads". I LOVED the TV commercials. Then for whatever reason they stopped doing big campaigns...But now their back. LMAO...and their freaking hilarious. Flo Rida Jingle Bells....gotta love it.

Google ROCKS my world

I still think Google is going to take over the world but I've accepted this as fact. And honestly....I don't necessarily think that would be the worst thing that could happen. I mean if you can get past the creepy "big brother"-like presence (think google maps street view)...its all good. But let's be real Google has the internet game on LOCK. I'm kinda like a Google Groupie and I'm ok with that.

Hopefully everyone is up on GMail, GChat, YouTube, Blogger (And yes, I picked Blogger because I knew it was associated with Google)and Google Maps. Actually, if your not up on all of the above....stop reading my blog :0)

Right now I'm slightly obsessed with the internet browser, Google Chrome and Google Video chat. I feel like theres no reason for anyone to use any other browser. I'm not even going to go into detail about it...just download it.

Google Video Chat....WHAT!!!! Gmail account + webcam and mic = Freaking AMAZING.

Apparently the service is already offered through Skype (Who the hell even knows what Skype really is)But once you throw Google into anything, credibility (at least for me) quadruples. And lets face it, although Google has that creepy big brother thing going for it...you still trust that nobody will hack into your computer and steal your sh**!!! And by far the best part about everything is that its FREE!!!! HOOOOLLLLLLAAAA!!!!

Gotta love it.

So yea...get up on your Google folks. And I would go work for Google in a heartbeat....just sayin

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

LOVE IT

WE MADE HISTORY

Words can't even describe the magnitude of this day and moment.

VOTE!!!!!!

Obama-Biden 08!!!! Let's make history folks!!!

Friday, October 31, 2008

MAKE SURE YOUR APPEARING AS REGISTERED TO VOTE!!!!

Click the image to make it larger.

If you've registered to vote in NYC (especially if you registered recently) Please, please, please, please go to https://voterlookup.elections.state.ny.us/VoterDetailscreen.aspx?rxtVENC=NTAyODczMjU=to confirm that your in fact appearing as a registered voter. Pass the word on...

Happy Halloween!!!

I love this song!!! Although, he does sound off his rocker at the end. On some serial killer, stalker type stuff...

Pretty much sums it up...

"Swagger like Us" should def be playing in the background of this pic...

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

AND THERE IS LIVE COVERAGE!!!!

McCain and Palin are officially PISSED.  Watch the negativity from their campaign quadraple starting in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1..........

OBAMA HAS A 30 MIN TV SPECIAL ON....RIGHT NOW

He has just taken the fight for the Presidency to a WHOLE. NEW. LEVEL. I'm 99.999999999% sure this has never been done before. I'm impressed, pleasantly surprised and UBER proud!!! AND...coming from advertising...I know this shit ain't cheap.  30 min of non-network sponsored prime time content on 3 of the 4 major networks and Univision ....WHAT????!!!! I have to find the media costs for this.

When he wins, his victory song should be "Swagger Like Us". 

Literally sitting in shock and awe....but in a positive way.

6 DAYS LEFT!!!!!

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Monday, October 20, 2008

Gotta LOVE Obama!!!!

video


Look at the guy in the upper left....LMAO...he doesn't really know why everyone is standing to clap....lol...he just stood and clapped cause everyone else did. "Stand for something or you'll fall for anything" I suppose. I'm just glad he's standing at an Obama rally rather than falling for the McCain lies.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Clusterfuck and "Dubya" has a movie....

Please take a moment to look up "CLUSTERFUCK" on urbandictionary.com. The definitions(1-7) accurately describe the current status of the United States of America.  Actually, we should start reffering to America by what it will be soon known as, the United States Owned by China.  Its just a matter of time until another country makes an offer to buy us.  

The country is soo screwed up at this point that its too much for me to even try to comment on.  The USA is officially doing the MOST while simultanously doing the least.  

I'm kinda looking forward to the "W" movie, though.  Although, I'm not sure why that is...I think it has the potential to be a good film.


Thursday, September 25, 2008

Diesel turns dirty 30....

...and revamps a 70's/80's porno for the invitation...LOL...What would life be like without the drugged up creative minds of advertising??!!!


Diesel SFW XXX - Watch more free videos

Monday, September 15, 2008

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Palin's First Interview...Mrs. Alaska 2008

Clearly she's been in some intensive media training since she was announced as McCain's running mate. Obviously all the candidates are coached but at last they can pretend like its natural. Even Bush is able to get himself together and BS answers when caught off guard. Watch what happens when Charlie Gibson asks her a question she wasn't coached on...the Bush Doctrine. She has not the slightest clue as to what he's talking about. I'm sure the average person doesn't know what the Bush Doctrine is (honestly I didn't until Charlie explained it) but I feel like because shes Republican...a Republican politician at that...she should at least know something about it. Be able to BS an answer if necessary. Its a slightly more sophisticated version of Miss Teen South Carolina's "Maps" answer. At least South Carolina actually knew what a map was....

Just saying...

HILARIOUS

This is by far the funniest video I've seen in a while.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

McCain is buggin the F**K OUT!!!

McCain would have been better off nominating Diddy at this point.

Thanks for sending "Boobie Miles"...lol

Friday, August 29, 2008

WTF McCain...WTF

Let's be real Obama verbally assissinated McCain's campaign last night. Portraying McCain as just another Bush...awesome strategy. Fact of the matter is no matter how liberal a republican McCain makes himself out to be, at the end of the day because he's still a republican and he kinda has to say he supports Bush. When he gives his acceptance speech at the RNC he can't say "Enough Bush. The last 8 years have sucked" or everybody would look at him sideways (I'm actually really curious as to how he's going to deal with the Bush factor). So what do they do....go find a woman to run as VP to make their own bit of history and try to stay alive in the race to the Whitehouse. It's not like this has been the plan along...this is some serious last resort, grasping for straws stuff.

Who really knows anythng about Palin??? Outside of the fact that shes from Alaska and is in her first year as a Govenor? Newsflash folks....AIN'T SHIT GOING ON IN ALASKA!!!!! There are like 2 people in Alaska...(apparently Palin and her husband). And let's really think about this...how FUCKED would the US be if McCain's old ass died in office or something and this chic with basically less expereince then Obama becomes President. You think it's a mess now...Just think about it...

I just think this whole thing is absurd. What makes it worst is that we the people of the US can be some superficial ass bastards. So for some the fact that he brought a woman on board is enough.

I'll be LIVID if McCain wins.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Historic day...historic times...

How amazing is it that the first black presidential candidate will be officially accepting the nomination on the 45th anniversary of MLK's "I Have a Dream" speech.

There really isn't even anything else to say to that....I'll be watching thats for damn sure.

Monday, August 25, 2008

Crack is Mad Wack...

I know, I've been doing a lot of video post lately but I can't help it. Videos do an excellent job of helping to bring to life the notion of doing the MOST. It def makes for a much more interesting post. It's not just me on a rant with no context, folks get to indulge in the same nonsense!!!

I might need to start a new list/countdown separate from "Reason's we ain't neva gon be free". A list that keeps count of celebrity crackhead or "crackish" behavior. Check out K-ci and Jo-Jo from Jodeci. I personally have been laughing and joking about K-Ci being a crackhead for years with friends (and if you didn't know, when Mary J. Blige first came on the scene she was dating K-Ci and did hella drugs)But who knew Jo-Jo was on the pipe too!!!??? Now, a friend did say to me "How do you know he was on crack, could have just been drunk". This is true. I don't have conclusive evidence that Jo-Jo was on crack but you have to admit it's crackish behavior.

Enjoy folks...just watch from 1:50 on. Love how they take the mic away but leave him there....CLASSIC

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Reason #10...

This video is disturbing. The fact that an adult thought this was cute and recorded this and cheered the kids on rather than stop what was going on is terrible. Whats worst is that from the looks of it, this is the type of behavior that is encouraged (and possibly taught) in the homes of these kids. It all can't be blamed on hip hop and videos, parents need to be held accounatble. Then folks wonder why blacks have the fastest growing STD and HIV rates...And if these kids are doing all this at what looks like the age of 7...Just imagine what they'll be doing by 11...15...terrible.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Champion...

Even though he's the cockiest, most self absorbed ass I've ever seen, Kanye is one of the most innovative stars. I love his creative vision. Here's the video for "Champion". Kanye is something like a genius...

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

VH1= UPN & WB

Is it just me or has VH1 become the cable version of UPN and the WB??? Remember back in the day when WB and UPN had all of the bad black sitcoms....You know...The Wayans Brothers, Homeboys in Outerspace, Malcolm and Eddie...the often forgotten Secret Diary of Desmond Pfeiffer....Who doesn't remember that time in television.

Somehow off the strength of the buffoonery that is Flavor of Love, VH1 has managed to usher in a new generation of black shows. What makes it soo bad is that the shit is REALITY. I LOVE reality TV (clearly) But VH1 is doing the MOST! Uncle Luke...Luke Cambell has a show....really...seriously....I love how he tried to tell his son he shouldn't be watching porn when right before the commercial break he was auditioning strippers for his adult films....

Kudos to VH1 for finding a niche and running with it. I'm just waiting for the tap dancing frog....OH WAIT.....I guess thats why New York's pic keeps popping up in the lower right corner.... :0p

Monday, August 4, 2008

I spy...something...inappropriate...

Click on the pic to enlarge it.

I Heart Janelle Monae

Don't sleep...check her out.

"Mr. President"

Thursday, July 31, 2008

Another season of BITCHASSNESS!!!

I didn't know this was scheduled to come back!! Especially since Diddy has his show on VH-1. Not sure If I can deal with 2 Diddy shows on air at the same time...


The Real House Wives of ATL

So I watch Bravo a lot. LOVE their reality TV shows. So they decided to do an ATL spin off of their "Real Wives of" shows. I'm not soo sure I'll be watching it. Go Here http://dimewars.com/search.aspx?ModelSearch=Real%20Housewives%20Of%20Atlanta&tab=1 to view the preview "trailers" (the site that has the videos made it so that they can't be embedded. How whack is that....) Only watch trailer 1 and 2.

My issues are as follows:


1. You know how on the Dave Chappelle show he would spoof well known "Mainstream (meaning white...i try to be pc every now and then)" TV shows by doing a "Ghetto" version. Watch the first trailer (not the full 10 min...trust me after 2 min you will be sooo irritated you'll turn it off). Does it not come across as a spoof. The shit just doesn't seem natural. And by that I'm not referring to the possibility of blacks being successful and having money as not being natural. The way they are talking just seems super contrived and unnatural.

2. Look at the second video (again, its like 10 min, I promise if you watch the whole thing you will be frustrated. When they show the house does it not look like a scene from "Cribs"??!!! I'm sorry...but I've watched all of the other "Real Wives of" Seasons and I don't remember them dedicating so much time to show how those people were living. The detail is ridiculous. It's a it offending only because they make it seem as if extravagant living is a rarity. Almost as if they have a huge ass house in the middle of the projects. UMMM....do they NOT live in a community with other big ass house just like the folks in the OC???!!! Why do they have to "cribafy" it. Their not rap stars...lol...they're business people like everyone else.

3. NeNe.....I mean her name speaks for itself. Like...who are the producers??? Do they not know that if you associate with anyone named NeNe its bound to be a ghetto experience. You can take the woman out of the hood but you can't take the hood out of the woman. ***shaking my head*** This is why we ain't neva gon be free....

4. "What I want out of this divorce is a lump sump...some 7 figures...." direct quote from the trailer...****sigh**** PRE NUP...thats all I have to say.


Folks, it looks like its shaping up to be a ghettofabulous season. It's a little premature considering the show hasn't aired the first episode but I'm going to go ahead and say that The Real Housewives of Atlanta is reason #5,013 why we ain't neva gon be free... (To be confirmed Sept 16 when the episode actually airs)

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

CoolOutrageousLoversOfUniquelyRawStyle

I could do without seeing Bentley but whatevs...


Monday, July 14, 2008

New Yorker...this doesn't help...



Why would they think this helps??!!! I realize and understand that the New Yorker is a publication for people that are of a higher intellect. Yes there are those of us who are educated and can immediately see that the cartoon is meant to satrize the ridiculous rumors that surround the Obama campaign. However, Average Joe Schmoe living in Kalamazoo with an 11 grade education won't see all that. All he'll see is tonight's news with the cover of the New Yorker. Is he going to pay attention to whats being said...probably not. He's just going to go off the visual.

Although the intent was suppose to be good, it's just a bit irresponsible on the New Yorker's behalf. They can't realistically say that they didn't know the controversy the image would cause.

This, to me, just shows how racially insensitive America can be. Kinda like when your in college and there is a kid who hasnt been around a lot of black people and says stuff like "yo yo what up" everytime s/he speaks to someone black because s/he 1. thinks its funny and 2. thinks thats how black people really interact. When in reality its offensive.

And I know there will be people that will say "This isn't a black and white issue. People are overreacting and need to get just see it as a joke. If Hillary had been the candidate and the New Yorker had an illustration of her on the cover it wouldn't be a big deal". To that I say think about it like this...Will the New Yorker create an illustration to satrize McCain? Or better yet, why didn't The New Yorker satrize McCain first? And can we just admit that americans aren't that bright. Think of someone like Bush looking at that. I doubt he got the joke at first glance. Just saying....

It'll be intresting to see this unfold over the next few days. Oh and I'm mad they have Michelle looking like a Neo-Black Panther....don't make no damn sense!!!!

Friday, July 11, 2008

New Job...New Officemate....

THIS BITCH WAS JUST PICKING HER NOSE AND ATE IT. I'm sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo serious.

I CAN'T EVEN DEAL FOLKS!!!! CANNOT DEAL!! W T F!!! Who does that?????? GROSS. GROSS. GROSS.

I don't even know what else to say....

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Reason #5....and #6...




Thank you Jesse Jackson for confirming that we can never just be happy and supportive of each others success. The more disapponting side of this whole thing is that just when we thought there was finally a black leader to look up to and crush all the stereotypes, another black political leader has to step out and (as my mother would say) show his ass!!! WTF Jesse??!!! It's not like someone intercepted his phone call or someone happened to come across a stray email. Negro you are on LIVE TV!!!! SERIOUSLY...what's your life about. The song "Hi Hater" (youtube it) comes to mind when I think of the Jesse Jackson Obama relationship. Jesse is just mad that Obama has been able to do what he has always wanted to do but couldn't. Obama is living Jesse's American Dream. I'm sure that sucks. But damn Jesse...MAN UP!!!

Here's what he had to say for himself....

Monday, June 30, 2008

Express vs Local

I thought the intention of express train lines were to get you from point A to point Z quickly by skipping as many unnessaccary points in between. So folks, help me to understand why I can get on the A at an express station, leave less than 2 minutes after the C local but yet and still the C will arrive before the A. ( I read this back to myself...lol...and it kinda confused me. Yes I know I wrote it but its a bit too much like an algebra equation. Algebra is NOT and will NEVER be my friend).

Maybe this is a Brooklyn only issue but I've been timing the trains over the last few days trying to figure out if bypassing the C for the A was actually saving me time or wasting time. Intuition was telling me that it was the latter but as I've said before I don't run on emotion so I needed proof.

I let the C roll out of the station. The A comes 2 min later. We were 2 stops ahead of the C and approaching the express station. There is a single track shared by the A and the C...basically both can't be in the station at once. We are at full speed...next thing I know we start slowing down. We stop. C goes past....

WTF folks. WTF!!!! Why even ride the express if a damn local train is going to be given priority in the tunnel. What sense does that make??? I really wanted to say outloud "Does anybody else see this shit??!! Am I the only person that finds this to be not OK". But I refrained because when you make outburst like that, people will look at you like your a mental patient. And for the record I do NOT know that from personal experience. I'm not that damn throwed off...yet :0)

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Reason #73,194...

...Why we ain't neva, eva, eva gon be free...LOL...I really don't know what to say. I guess if you want to get fame as a rapper you gotta have a gimmick.

My favorite lyric...."Even on the beach, I got timbs on my feet". CLASSIC!

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

STIMULUS CHECK HATH COMETH...

The elusive, highly sought stimulus check has finally arrived!!! Cue the dramatic white halo around said check with angelic choir singing "AHHHHHHH"...Yes folks it is THAT serious. It's been damn near 2 months. I've sat around jealous of all those around me fortunate enough to fulfill all of the requirements to have their payment direct depositrd on the date indicated at irs.gov.

Don't let my excitement fool you....I still think the whole thing is bogus and that the government will find a way for us all to pay it back BUT I will be spending mine ASAP :0)

Yes this is why we ain't neva gon be free or rich....

Monday, June 16, 2008

Somebody has my money....

I STILL HAVE NOT RECEIVED A STIMULUS CHECK!!!! Clearly this is a problem of some sort. Called the dumbass automated "stimulus check information" line. That was no help whatsoever. It basically said be patient. Being patient is for the birds at this point.

Came across an article today that said that nearly 1500 payments were sent to the wrong accounts...yes I know thats a small number but with my luck my payment was probably sent elsewhere. And you know the gov is good for fudging the truth. So if their saying 1500 I'm gonna go ahead and say that its really like 50,000. Don't act like you don't know how our government rolls.

There are folks who have recieved 2 checks. TWO!!! WTF....WTF. I'm convinced someone has my money.

How is it that we live in one of the most advanced nations in the world, with the ability to track criminals from a satellite in outer space. But yet, our governement can't manage to properly electronically distribute checks. That blows my mind. All the freaking technology we have and they still cant do somthing simple. I can't deal. I really can't. Canada looks better and better everyday...

Here's the link to the article if your interested http://finance.yahoo.com/taxes/article/105233/Stimulating-Confusion

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Sooo Hot in HERRE....

Ok folks...I prefer warm weather of cold weather but this is ridiculous!!!! The temp of NYC is HELL. How funny would it be if the weatherman actually said that...

"Let's take a look at today's forecast....NYC can expect it to be a lot like Hell outside. If your not Satan, you may want to consider staying in doors"

So my landlord has a "rule" that air conditioners can go in the back of the apt but not in the front. I guess because it's a brownstone on a historical block she doesn't want to compromise the look of the building...I'm sorry but the hell with the look of the building...It's tooo damn hot to only have 1 AC and expect it to cool the entire place. Is she crazy??? I'm sure to make such a ridonculous request/rule has to border on inhumane in this heat.

A heat stroke is not sexy! And I pay waaaaaaaay too much for rent to be confined to my bedroom only.

I completely ignored her "rule" and my AC will stay in the front window until she says something. And when she does I'm going to ask her to come upstairs and sit on my couch and try to watch TV for an hour and see if her ass doesn't start to melt. Thats if she doesn't pass out all together....

Saturday, May 31, 2008

So You Think You Can Dance...

I'm impressed, amazed and slightly disgusted.



http://view.break.com/507504 - Watch more free videos

WTF IRS...WTF...

WHERE THE HELL IS MY DAMN STIMULUS CHECK!!!!!! I mean...I know I wrote the post a month ago about the whole thing being a scam BUT DAMN!! I was still a tad bit optimistic...Clearly I'm not getting a damn thing.

Now I know there is something about it being held up IF you had your taxes done by a third party or if you got a rapid refund. Guess what....I don't fall in either one of those categories. WTF IRS...SERIOUSLY! Looks like I'll be calling on Monday.

I'm about to call Major World Ford Lincoln Mercury in Long Island City as well. Don't send me a piece of mail that says "Program Headquarters" in a check envelope so that it look like it just might be a stimulus check. WHY ARE THEY PLAYING WITH MY EMOTIONS??!!!

This is some nonsense....it really is. But then again we ain't never gon be free so I don't know why I thought we'd be rich. And yes...the IRS is Doing the MOST...

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Anti Backpack...

If you got a backpack this ain't your kinda rap...

Esso aka stupidGenius (perhaps you remember him from the 4/1 blog post) has released his first video. Google "anti backpack", looks like it may be a viral sensation...

Saturday, May 17, 2008

"What the F**K are you doing?!"...

Well Sue...clearly your doing the MOST....LMAO...

Friday, May 16, 2008

Did we not learn anything from Rosa Parks??!!

A New York City man is suing JetBlue Airways Corp. for more than $2 million because he says a pilot made him give up his seat to a flight attendant and sit on the toilet for more than three hours on a flight from California.

Gokhan Mutlu, says in court papers the pilot told him to "go 'hang out' in the bathroom" about 90 minutes into the San Diego to New York flight because the flight attendant complained that the "jump seat" she was assigned was uncomfortable, the lawsuit said.
Mutlu was traveling on a "buddy pass," a standby travel voucher that JetBlue employees give to friends, from New York to San Diego on Feb. 16, and returned to New York on Feb. 23, the lawsuit said.
Initially, Mutlu was told a flight attendant had taken the last seat on the plane, but then he was advised she would sit in the employee "jump seat," meaning he could have the last seat, the lawsuit said.
The pilot told him 1 1/2 hours into the five-hour flight that he would have to relinquish the seat to the flight attendant, court papers say. But the pilot said that Mutlu could not sit in the jump seat because only JetBlue employees were permitted to sit there, the lawsuit said.
When Mutlu expressed reluctance to go sit in the bathroom, the pilot, who was not named in the lawsuit, told him that "he was the pilot, that this was his plane, under his command that (Mutlu) should be grateful for being on board," the lawsuit said.
The aircraft hit turbulence and passengers were directed to return to their seats, but "the plaintiff had no seat to return to, sitting on a toilet stool with no seat belts," court papers say.

I sense some BITCHASSNESS!!!

Who willingly goes and sits in the bathroom of an airplane...SERIOUSLY??!! It's not like if he would have said "YEA RIGHT" or "NO" they would have kicked him off the flight...THEY WERE ALREADY IN THE SKY!!!

I feel like the judge should throw out the case on account of stupidity or allow him to win nothing more than a quarter. I don't understand where he came up with $2 million. He wasn't injured. He was already flying for free. What does he need $2 million for exactly...I'm sorry but nobody should become a millionaire for being a punk. WTF!!! It's to late to try and holler public humiliation. Your dumbass willingly sat on a toilet for 3 hours...

LMAO...I just got a mental picture. Oh how I wish i was on that flight....

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Time for a MAC...

This is an AWESOME video!!! No it is NOT an ad...but if you don't have a MAC doesn't this really make you want 1... sG I hope your putting yours to good use!

I love when folks show off their creativity...


Saturday, May 10, 2008

Is this grammatically correct....

Perhaps I should look into getting "Doing the MOST" trademarked....

Sunday, May 4, 2008

The Myth of the Stimulus Check

I'm super skeptical about receiving "free" money from the government, more specifically from this administration. We are pretty much already in a recession...All i want to know is where they found additional money to just give out???

I have my own theories and ideas about the stimulus check. Here's my favorite:

There really isn't a stimulus check instead it's sort of a mind game that the government is playing. Think about it...what would most people do if they were told they were going to receive at least $600 to use as you see fit and with no obligations to pay it back...

Most people have probably already planned on how they will spend the money. Some may have even made purchases in anticipation of receiving the check. But what happens if folks don't get the full amount they expect? Or worst yet, what if they don't get any money at all??? Individuals will fall into deeper debt and financial hardships. Meanwhile, the government would have successfully "stimulated" the economy.

I'm convinced I won't get more than $40 (yes FORTY...lol..I didn't forget a 0) if I even get that.

Remember folks...money doesn't grow on trees...or in this case a BUSH...

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

BEAT HIS BEHIND PLEASE!!!!

I am not an advocate of child abuse of any kind BUT had this child been in my family...They would have taken turns beating his behind while CNN was filming. I know his grandma tore his behind up when he got home...

"I wanted to do hoodrat stuff with my friends".....REALLY...SERIOUSLY...that takes the cake.

I'm not even gonna to get into the issue of children embracing the idea of being a "hoodrat" and that "it's fun to do bad things"...

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Sigh....

Yea...it's been a busy few days. Focus has been all sorts of off. Countless blog-worthy things have happened and I'm just to damn distracted to even write about it. And once you miss it you miss it...can't go back and play catch up...

Can I just say that there's a problem when I'm angry and frustrated because my job makes it so that I can't blog...soo sad...

I'll get it together momentarily (meaning give me a day or 2)...

Monday, April 21, 2008

Sunday, April 20, 2008

Papal Visit...Mass Mass

I'm extremely intrigued by the Pope's visit to the US. I am not Catholic and don't full understand the traditions or the specifics of Catholicism. I can't recall any other times a Pope has visited the US. Maybe I was too young to care or was in Western PA or South-Central PA where it wasn't as big of deal as it seems to be here in NYC. How often does this happen???

What I'm doing right now (in case anyone is curious...or ever wanted to get a sense of just how off I really am) is watching mass mass on TV (apparently this is called Papal Mass). I'm amazed at 1...how many people are in attendance...2...how Yankee Stadium has been transformed into a temporary church. I wonder how many people (true catholics not weirdos like me) are watching this at home? And were tickets sold to attend Papal Mass? I have soo many questions. I feel like there should be a number I can call and get answers or at least a web address indicated during the telecast.

LOL...I was having a hard time following and then wondered why there weren't subtitles...then realized this isn't a foreign film nor was it intended for pure entertainment. Also realized that most other people watching this are probably already familiar with what is being said and don't need subtitles. Then I thought, what about followers that are hearing impaired? How the hell are they participating in this "monumental" event....

CLOSED CAPTIONING!!!!

Yes folks, I am using closed captioning as subtitles to watch Mass live from Yankee stadium...and I'm not Catholic....clearly I have issues and nothing better to do with my Sunday afternoon....sigh.....

And how about the irony of Papal Mass falling on 4/20...

Did you ever notice that News Anchors use any excuse to become temporary commentators...seriously...anytime there is anything going on that is outside of typical news...they somehow turn it into something similar to a Football Game. I don't think it's necessary for them to be offering play by play comments on Mass...I might feel differently if their comments were actually answering some of my questions but that's not the case. They might as well start drawing circles and lines...

The mass has ended...go in peace...

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Enough Stupid Names...

(DETROIT) In a decision that’s expected to send shockwaves through the African-American community—and yet, give much relief to teachers everywhere—a federal judge ruled today that black women no longer have independent naming rights for their children. Too many black children—and many adults—bear names that border on not even being words, he said.
“I am simply tired of these ridiculous names black women are giving their children,” said U.S. Federal Judge Ryan Cabrera before rendering his decision. “Someone had to put a stop to it.”

The rule applies to all black women, but Cabrera singled out impoverished mothers.
“They are the worst perpetrators,” he said. “They put in apostrophes where none are needed. They think a ‘Q’ is a must. There was a time when Shaniqua and Tawanda were names you dreaded. Now, if you’re a black girl, you hope you get a name as sensible as one of those.”

Few stepped forward to defend black women—and black women themselves seemed relieved.
“It’s so hard to keep coming up with something unique,” said Uneeqqi Jenkins, 22, an African-American mother of seven who survives on public assistance. Her children are named Daryl, Q’Antity, Uhlleejsha, Cray-Ig, Fellisittee, Tay’Sh’awn and Day’Shawndra.
Beginning in one week, at least three white people must agree with the name before a black mother can name her child.

“Hopefully we can see a lot more black children with sensible names like Jake and Connor,” Cabrera said.

His ruling stemmed from a lawsuit brought by a 13-year-old girl whose mother created her name using Incan hieroglyphics.

“She said it would make me stand out,” said the girl, whose name can’t be reproduced by The Peoples News’ technology. “But it’s really just stupid.”

The National Association of Elementary School Teachers celebrated Cabrera’s decision.
“Oh my God, the first day of school you’d be standing there sweating, looking at the list of names wondering ‘How do I pronounce Q’J’Q’Sha.’?” said Joyce Harmon, NAEST spokeswoman. “Is this even English?”

The practice of giving black children outlandish names began in the 1960s, when blacks were getting in touch with their African roots, said historian Corlione Vest. But even he admits it got out of hand.

“I have a niece who’s six. I’m embarrassed to say I can’t even pronounce her name,” said Vest, a professor at Princeton University. “Whenever I want to talk to her, I just wait until she looks at me and then I wave her over.”

Cabrera’s ruling exempted black men because so few of them are actually involved in their children’s lives....



Before folks start getting all upset and offended or applauding the Federal Judge...this isn't a real article. http://thepeoplesnews.wordpress.com/2008/03/02/federal-judge-enough-with-the-stupid-names/

Thanks Toya G.

Monday, April 14, 2008

I'm too damn old to be drinking Tang!!!

They thought it would be a good idea to have a fountain drink machine at the office. In theory, it's awesome. I LOVE juice. The drink of the week is Tang. I'm sorry...do I work at a day care center...who over the age of 5 actually drinks Tang? I didn't even think they made Tang anymore...let alone sell it in bulk where someone was able to find enough to fill a fountain (that is a few gallons mind you) for a week.

Now because I love juice soo much I can be easily swayed into drinking just about any kind. So even though I knew better ...I got a glass...THE SHIT IS GROSS. Do not drink Tang under any circumstance. I wouldn't serve this to my enemy. If it was the last thing in the world to drink, my ass would just be dehydrated. Seriously....WTF. It's gross. I have a headache from a few sips and I'm pretty sure if I drink the entire glass I'll have a seizure....

Just say "NO" to Tang folks.....

I wonder if they'll take suggestions for the fountain drink of the week. Would Red Kool-Aid be an innapropriate suggestion.....I know, I know....this is why we ain't never gon be free....

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Reason #796,412...

....why we ain't never gon be free...

Like the guy in the video says "Why did that have to happen...?"

video

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Seriously....


I know that advertising has the power to make people believe the unbelievable but this is just RIDICULOUS....


This is why we ain't never gon be free...

Ever come across something so unbelievably ghetto that there are no words to explain…I mean ghetto to the point that if you had to recount the story to someone else you’d have to use 1 of the following phrases while describing the situation:
*”I’m Deadass”
*”NO LIE”
*”I SWEAR”
*”Your not gonna believe…”
When I encounter said hot ghettomesses I typically say “That’s reason number xyz why we ain’t never gon be free…or simply “That’s why we ain’t never gon be free”.

Folks, allow me to get a tad deep for a moment…blacks were physically enslaved for a few centuries followed by additional decades of inequality, disenfranchisement, and oppression. The Civil Rights Movement helped us gain equality...GREAT. But folks, we still really aren't free. We are now mentally oppressed by, for the most part, our own doing. Of course not everyone is mentally oppressed but many are ruining it for others. And yes these fools know better.

So, moving forward (client correspondence phrase...clearly), if you see a post that simply says Reason #xyz, know that it ties back to this post.

And don't get it twisted...I love my people...but sometimes...we're doing the most...

Thursday, April 3, 2008

And Speaking of Sesame Street....

Quarter Life Crisis...

If your 24-26 I'm sure you'll be able to relate to this post. If not, perhaps your behind the curve or ahead of the curve or maybe your just in denial (remember...its a river Africa).

I feel like from early childhood through around graduation from undergrad there is a lot of effort put into making sure that individuals have some sort of guidance on what to expect with each stage of life, what to do what not to do...basically a heads up along the way. Theres all sorts of TV shows and stuff. Think about how much you learned from Sesame Street (some of which you can kinda still apply to life in some way or another)...remember after school specials...ALL SORTS OF STUFF...College, I'm sure everyone had some sort of orientation program with some crazy ice breaker to make everyone feel like a fool...and then everyone had an academic advisor that literally helped you plot out your road to graduation.

Then you graduate....and I feel like everyone is good through their first job (I'm sure the academic advisor and "career services" helped get your resume in check and pointed you in the right direction with your newly bought suit, a gift from a family member no doubt). I hope this isn't just my reality...

Then you hit 24...been working for 2-3 years and shit gets crazy. Chances are you start re-evaluating all sorts of aspects of life....what you do...who you are...where you are...friends...EVERYTHING is up for evaluation....

I'm sorry...where are the shows...the advisors (a therapist helps but that doesn't count in my book)???

I really feel like somebody should have given some sort of a heads up. And saying..."your young...you'll figure it out later" or "You have your whole life to deal with all this" is NOT acceptable answers. Hell.....its not even advice. Its just stuff older people say because it seems like the right thing to say.

I kinda want to ask my parents why they didn't give me some sort of warning...but then again at 25 my parents had 5 yr old me (talk about a crisis...lol..j/k...i was an angel......with devil horns....) so they really didn't have the "luxury" of a crisis of any sort so maybe they didn't have these problems.

Luckily...I figured out who I am last year...friends I'm good...LOVE NYC (specifically Brooklyn)...so I'm good there....

Career......CRISIS. Need a TV...a book...a coach...probably a prayer... It's really difficult to realize that your first choice career may not have been the best choice. Especially when you consider the time and money spent in college to help get you closer to said career. And then the additional time spent honing skills for and in said career to continue to succeed.

So yea folks...I'm lost. I don't know what I want to do with myself. Any suggestions....? I'm drawing blanks....

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

:0p

Now that stupidGENIUS has unleashed his ignorance all over doing the MOST (yea...i know...yall were like WTF...very confused) back to your regular blogger.



April Fool's folks....lighten up...

Young Plus Ignorant is Doing The Motherfu**in MOST!!!

You know me...the sarcastic comments...the over the top ignorant intellectual...The dude that pops bottles on a Tuesday night and stumbles into work on Wednesday morning in the same clothes smelling like Hennessey and Sour Diesel...hahahaha



Well ok, maybe you dont know me. Maybe you dont have the privilege of knowing a ni**a like me that's found a way to maintain his cool while everyone else is succumbing to the plague of button ups and hard bottoms. But Sllim does, so thanks to her maybe you can get to know me. Or maybe not. Really all depends on how I'm feeling at the time.

The only blazers I'll ever wear are Military. The only time I wear a button up is to a funeral, to church (but I never go), to job interviews, and if its laundry day and I dont have shit else clean.

But you want to know whats even more ignorant about me? I'm the dude that most women want to meet. Smart but not a fuckin geek. Cool but not so cool that he's stuck in the hood. The dude that has a job but knows what he wants out of life and realizes that his job is not his life.



But you probably just wrote me off as the ni**a that was too cocky to speak...or the one who was too stuck in his own world to care about anyone else...or the one that would never settle down because it's not in his character. Well...maybe you're right. But what if you're wrong. Will you be able to live with yourself? Because I know who I am...do you?

I'm the dude that's doin the most...hahahaha I mean doing more than you. And I dont mean literally doing Ms. Doing The Most either you nasty nosy motherfu**ers...hahahahaha

how was that Sllim? Do I get to write up here again?

sG (stupidGENIUS if you're nasty...)

Friday, March 28, 2008

Dear America, WTF

I know this is the land of opportunity, free speech, free expression and all that good stuff but some folks just insist on doing the most. The video below is self explanatory. I'm not even going to touch on Tyra Banks and her show right now but clearly she's treading in Jerry Springer waters with this one.

And yes the picture is REAL (you know I aim to make this blog the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth).

Thomas Beatie is a transgender male and he's 22 weeks pregnant (he's due July 3, 2008). Thomas still has a vagina, but he's legally male. He shares his life with his legal wife, Nancy. Thomas gave a first person account to the Advocate (full story can be found at http://www.advocate.com/exclusive_detail_ektid52947.asp) on how he came to be pregnant with a baby girl: "Ten years ago, when Nancy and I became a couple, the idea of us having a child was more dream than plan. I always wanted to have children. However, due to severe endometriosis 20 years ago, Nancy had to undergo a hysterectomy and is unable to carry a child. But after the success of our custom screen-printing business and a move from Hawaii to the Pacific Northwest two years ago, the timing finally seemed right. I stopped taking my bimonthly testosterone injections. It had been roughly eight years since I had my last menstrual cycle, so this wasn’t a decision that I took lightly. My body regulated itself after about four months, and I didn’t have to take any exogenous estrogen, progesterone, or fertility drugs to aid my pregnancy."

He says that not many people in his community know about his pregnancy, although I'm not really sure how thats possible if 1..this appeared in a National publication...2...or unless he hasn't and plans to not leave his house for the next few months. He said they have "begun experiencing opposition from people who are upset by our situation. Doctors have discriminated against us, turning us away due to their religious beliefs. Health care professionals have refused to call me by a male pronoun or recognize Nancy as my wife. Receptionists have laughed at us. Friends and family have been unsupportive; most of Nancy’s family doesn’t even know I’m transgender."

Thanks for the suggestion, Nate! America misses you!

Monday, March 24, 2008

WTF is Pinkberry???

Sooo...I'm doing research for a project and looking into some new, hip, and cutting edge brands/products. Pinkberry came to mind then I realized I have absolutely no idea what the hell it is. I've never actually had Pinkberry (clearly I am out of the loop on this one) but have heard all sorts of people rave about how good it is.

Now, many of you will think the next statement is absurd and I have received intense criticism about what I'm about to say...I don't like ice cream or any other sweetened milk based product (this includes smoothies made with milk or frozen yougurt and milkshakes). I know, I know...I'm a girl I'm suppose to be able to eat a gallon and LOVE every cold, milky, melty spoonful. Nope...I'll pass.

So back to Pinkberry, I've heard that its not ice cream (BTW Coldstone Creamery is a bonafide waste of money...just go to Baskin Robin's or Dairy Queen...tried and true for years and sooo much cheaper. I've heard comparisons to TastiDelight (Don't really know what TastDelight is either). But the most ridiculous thing I've heard about Pinkberry is that their are only 2 flavors. Come on folks....seriously....SERIOUSLY...2 Flavors?!?!? People are going crazy over 2 damn flavors. Even Pepsi and Coke come in more than 2 flavors. I think people just really get caught up in the hype. It's really kinda sad. If I follow the 2 flavor model and the unknown factor of Pinkberry, I'm pretty sure I could bottle air and sell it to the masses for a ridiculous price and make millions (I wrote it here so if anyone steals that I will sue :0))

Just so we all are clear this is not a criticism of anyone who enjoys and is addicted to Pinkberry. Please continue to indulge. Just someone please tell me what the hell it is and what makes it soooo freaking good. And the answer better not have the word SOY anywhere in it...

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Trained...an Unbelievable NYC Experience

Went up to 42nd to pick up friends who are in town visiting for the weekend. It's about 4:15PM...train is pretty packed. We get to Broadway/Nassau on the A. The doors open people start getting off, people start shuffling in. All of sudden we (friends and I) hear a loud thud...turn towards the door we see a woman flat on her back. Then we hear another woman say:

"Don't ever do that again! Now get off the train!"

Couple of people on the train say "DAMN!" or "OH SHIT!"

Next thing you know the woman laying on her back is up...disoriented...but up. She starts swinging her purse. Other woman gets off the train and starts beating the woman swinging the purse's ass on the platform.

Now I neglected to mention that the train was crowded with several ghetto individuals....yup..Loud and Rowdy. So they're at the door watching this fight. Doors start to close. A man with gold teeth (I'm soooo serious...lol) starts yelling

"Don't let the doors close...this ain't her stop she has to get on".

The other ghetto folks start saying:

"Come on Ma, you got her...get on...hurry up". Mind you they don't know the chick fighting. She gets on...doors close...train pulls out of the station.

So basically at Broadway/Nassau there was some poor chick that got ambushed on her way out of the train. Probably has witnesses but the perpetrator is gone.

ON THE TRAIN...the loud and rowdy bunch are hype. Again...they don't know this chick. And she's not loud and rowdy...she's just trying to read her People and calm down. Finally somebody asked her what happened that caused all that to go down...

As she was stepping onto the train the woman was walking off. She bumped into the woman and said excuse me BUT the woman proceeded to shove her out of the way. So she grabbed her by the back of her head...pulled her back onto the train by her hair and basically threw her to the ground...UNBELIEVABLE...

Monday, March 17, 2008

America's Next Top...Angry Black Woman...

How is it that Toccarra made it through the many rounds of criticism on America's Next Top Model and was voted off but she can't seem to handle criticism from a panel on a show for self-improvement?? And why the hell is she on this show in the first place if she loves herself soo much?? Oh yea...Hollywood...the most addictive drug in the world...Doing the most, Toccarra...Doing the MOST!

Friday, March 14, 2008

This 1's a "Wynn"er....

Keith Olbermann's special comment on Hillary Clinton supporter Geraldine Ferraro's racist and divisive statements and Hillary's inaction to distance herself from them. The video is a tad long but definitely worth every second. BE INFORMED FOLKS!

Thanks Josh!!!

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Mass Email does not = Chat Room

Mass emails are great for and should be used for 1 purpose and 1 purpose only....to alert/inform a large group of people. That, in my opinion, is it. I feel like when people receive mass mailings they sometimes forget what the intention of the email really was. It's not an opportunity to catch up with someone else in the chain in front of everyone else. It's not an opportunity to get your 15 seconds of fame by trying to make a witty comment or joke. If thats the type of attention you seek...start a damn blog. Then you can say whatever you want, have your reader's full attention and know that the individuals reading are at least half way interested in whatever nonsense you have to say.

I can't understand why people hit "reply all" when they have a specific comment to the sender or the last person that made a comment when their comment and/or question has nothing to do with the subject of the email.

If what you have to say pertains to the whole group... AWESOME. If not, there is a good chance that everyone else 1. doesn't need to know...2. doesn't want to know...3. couldn't care less.

I tried to bite my tongue...I really did...

Sllim

Friday, March 7, 2008

Eavesdropping in Chipotle

I went to Chipotle for lunch today. Somehow I still haven't learned that from 11-2 it should be off limits cause its ridiculously packed. Anyway, while I'm standing in line by myself I overhear a conversation between 2 guys standing behind me. Typically when I'm somewhere by myself I'm eavesdropping on other's conversations. Usually my focus dips in and out as different words spark my interest. The 1 guy had the audacity to say

"Sure I'll go on a cruise with her....doesn't mean anything and she can pay for all of it"

I wish a N***A would! I'd be DAMNED if I spend my hard earned money to pay for a cruise for someone that doesn't mean anything. This isn't even about emotions, expectations, sex...IT MAKES ABSOLUTELY NO DAMN SENSE!!!! Really, male or female who the hell is going to spend money to take someone on vacation that they aren't feeling....seriously. I swear this is a quick way to get cut and I don't mean cut in the figurative sense.

TGIF :0)

Sllim

Thursday, March 6, 2008

DNC....what's really going on

I promise my blog is not turning int a political platform. I just have to speak on some shadiness...

So while at dinner last night, my cousin was explaining to me this situation going on involving Florida, Michigan and the Democratic National Convention. I did some background reading to try to be sure my facts were at least half way straight before starting this post. I know folks tend to be sensitive about politics especially this race. Heaven forbid I misrepresent a detail. If by chance I do get something wrong...understand that the point of this posting is more for others to seek more information. I know my ass is not nor will I ever be a political analyst.

Anyway...so apparently in January Michigan and Florida took it upon themselves to hold primaries before the DNC had scheduled them to. As a penalty it was decided that those votes would not be counted. Everyone, including all 3 candidates agreed with this and also agreed to not campaign in those states. The race kept rolling, Edwards drops out and Obama springs ahead of Hilary. As we all saw Hilary started getting desperate (remember the pics of Obama in Muslim garb). Then she starts campaigning in Florida. UH...didn't they agree NOT to campaign in that state (the article I read on yahoo.com quoted Hilary saying she would "find a way to seat the delegations from Michigan and Florida.") The DNC has started talking about possibly counting the votes from January or (even worst) allowing those states to vote again. I forgot to mention that Hilary "won" those early primaries.

So folks a few things to consider:

1. Is the DNC trying to right a wrong with a wrong?
2. Has the DNC had in mind who they wanted as the Democratic nominee all along and the last few months has been nothing but a show. And now the DNC is scared that without these 2 states their preferred may not win.

You be the judge. http://news.yahoo.com/s/thenation/20080306/cm_thenation/1295132

Sllim

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Obama vs Principal Clinton

I'm very intrigued by the race between Obama and Clinton for the democratic nomination. How crazy is it that these 2 alone have dramatically changed the face of politics and the race for the white house. Just think about how boring the election would be if it weren't for them...Another thing to think about is could you realistically even see any other candidates for the democratic nomination? I feel like when they both decided to run for office, there was a great deal of skepticism but that has all since died and the country seems to be completely comfortable with the idea of a woman or a black man leading the country. Change is good and I am impressed with the country's open-mindedness.

The fact that Clinton won last night added to the drama and suspense of the race. The media has a tendecy to do the MOST and ride a story till the wheels fall off. But this is one of the few things on TV that doesn't get old. Maybe other people are over it but I want to watch, I can't not watch.

Just a few things to note:

Hillary Clinton reminds me of a high school principal. If you ever had a female principal you'll know exactly what I'm talking about. Not a soccer mom AT ALL. Always in a suit of some sort. Intimdating in a weird way. Like if you were to pass her in a hall she'd make you feel like your were guilty of something even if you hadn't done anything. And when you ovehear her say "My husband" or "My daughter" you find it hard to belive that she's married and wonder who the hell would marry her and knowingly conceive a child. Then wonder what the child could possibly look or be like. Am I the only one that had these experiences in high school...?

As far as Obama, he embodies everything that comes to mind when you think of the persona and demeanor of a president. Dignified, strong presence, the ability to be friendly but also convey that he means business at the same time. Everyone is familiar with the "Yes We Can" video right.....have you seen The Nutty Professor....remember when Professor Klump is sitting on the couch watching the exercise video...remember when he starts stomping his foot and yelling "YES I CAN!!!!". Thats what I'm reminded of everytime I hear that slogan. I tried to find the youtube video but apparently the world is more fascinated with the fart scene from the Klumps....sigh....

Sllim

Monday, March 3, 2008

If only I had a nerf bat...

Maybe I'm a little high strung...maybe a tad aggressive...a bit angry...irritated to a point of violence...whatever the case may be I have a strong desire for a nerf bat. I just would like to be able to smack folks upside the head without severely injurying them. Just enough to kinda cause a slight shock...with the look like "I can't belive she just hit me with a nerf bat!"

People just say and do dumb stuff. I really have a low tolerance and patience for stupidity. I could use it while at work (Monday status...I would hit people for GP)...on the train (screaming,crying babies...smack the mom and the child)...slow walking NYC tourists...(Welcome to NYC and walk faster biatch)...

Seriously though people are daft beyond belief. Think about all the stupidity you encounter day-to-day. Couldn't you benefit from having a nerf bat on hand???

Perhaps I need counseling and not weapons.....whatevs...I can't be bothered. Violence may not be the answer but its a damn good solution. GIVE ME A BAT!!!

-Sllim

PS...I just got an email that says "Please consider the environment before you print this email"....WTF...I'll print what I want, when I want...as a matter of fact I'm going to print it right now out of spite. Stuff like that pisses me off. Thats like a dunkin dougnuts bag saying something like "consider the homeless before you throw out that half a bagel"....

Thursday, February 28, 2008

The Beyonce Experience

I am a Beyonce fan and I am not ashamed to admit it!!! She's a phenomenal performer with a great voice....a few too many runs but a phenomenal singer nonetheless. BUT have you ever seen her in interviews??? Her personality SUX! Everything seems contrived. She reminds me of some sort of living mannequin. All the charisma that she has on stage vanishes. It's sad and kinda pathetic. I wouldn't want to be her friend but then again she probably wouldn't want to be my friend...

Anyway, here is one of my favorite youtube videos. It shows B in all her crazy, charismatic glory. Clearly she's doing the MOST and its hilarious! Enjoy...oh and if you've seen this before, oh well watch it again :0p


Friday, February 22, 2008

WASH YOUR DAMN HANDS...

A coworker sent me a link to an article about "Socialista" in the West Village having a Hepatitis A scare (yup...Doing the MOST). Apparently, one of its bartenders contracted the virus while on vacation. So how exactly is Hepatitis A spread....the article says:

"Hepatitis A is a liver disease caused by a virus. It's spread by putting something in one's mouth (even though it might look clean) that is contaminated with traces of fecal matter from the infected person."

FECAL MATTER FROM THE INFECTED PERSON....
Let that marinate for a lil bit........I'm going to take a deep breath........
The only way...there could possibly be fecal matter on a glass is if the bartender DID NOT WASH HIS DAMN HANDS.
WTF PEOPLE.... W T F!!! We live in AMERICA...not a 3rd world country. We have running water with state-of-the-art plumbing. A BLACK MAN IS ABOUT TO BE PRESIDENT for crying out loud and some nasty people still haven't evolved enough to understand the importance of washing their hands. There is no excuse for not washing your hands.
And while I'm on the topic...this is why the flu is so damn prevalent this season. Spreading like a brush fire....


JUST NASTY!!!

Here's the link if you want to read the article

http://wcbstv.com/local/hepatitis.west.village.2.659882.html

Sllim

How is Meteorology a legit career path...

Work was closed today on account of the snow. Even though I'm happy to be at home, I do think that it is a bit ridiculous that the agency is automatically closed if NYC public schools are closed especially when:

1. Most of the employees don't even have kids
2. Half who do have kids don't even live in NYC
3. The half that do live in NYC and have kids send them to private school

Anyway, how crazy is it that meterologist, people who's job is to predict the weather, can be wrong 75% of the time and not be fired???? I do realize that a great deal goes into their predictions and that meterology is a science but really think about it. The only time of the year that they have a chance at being right is summer...like July and August. Honestly we could all be meterologists at that time...its pretty obvious that its gonna be sunny. If there are clouds...sunny and partly cloudy. Gray clouds...Sunny with a chance of rain. I will cut them slack given that global warming has the planets climates all f***ed up. I'm sure that does make their chances of being right about the weather highly unlikely. That brings us back to the title of the blog...How is it a legit career path. Seems like to me it may be on a downward spiral.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Words of wisdom for the fellas...

Over the past week I've had no less that 5 of my guy friends bring up the "issue" of crazy females. They all can't seem to understand what they have done to end up dealing with a crazy chick. To them, a girl that was perfect in their eyes....attractive...smart....fun to be around...and most importantly SANE suddenly does a 180 and is completely and utterly INSANE. Saying and doing things that are completely irrational and well.....CRAZY.

You've all heard the statement before "Women are unstable creatures". Not true. Women are just flat out emotional. Some moreso then others. I'm not very emotional...I operate on unadulterated logic. Chances are if I can't make something make logical sense...I'm not doing it. Not true for the average female. They are running on pure emotion. It can be dangerous and should not be F***ed with (I could give detailed examples of emotion gone wrong...but I'll refrain).

I'm sure all of the men are shaking their heads in agreement but still thinking "This is not wisdom...I know this already"...riiiiiight.

Somehow when it comes to sex...yall completely forget that females tend to be emotional. Its all fun and games....until she catches feelings. Especially if its good sex. Please note the equation below (some of you should get it tattooed on your hand...kinda like an adult cheat sheet...)

Emotional Woman + Good Sex = CRAZY or simply EW + GS = C

I don't know why this is sooo hard for yall to understand. Usually sex is not just sex to a female. I'm going to go out on a limb here and say you can probably get away with having sex (good sex) with a typcal female about 3 times (within a short time frame) before she begins to catch feelings. If you space it out over 3 months....you can possibly get a few more in but this is not guaranteed.

And fellas...if it is good...please do not be fooled...its sex that the woman is obssessed with...not you...sorry :0(

I hope this helps all who have been confused recently. Ladies, I hope your not mad...yall tend to do the MOST...this is for the best.

Be mindful of what your doing in the bedroom folks....

Sllim

Friday, February 15, 2008

This is why I hate Facebook...

I'm in a meeting yesterday in the boardroom. This isn't your normal run of the mill conference room. Its a HUGE glass table with 15 seats and all sorts of state of the art a/v equiptment. I'm at the head of the table with my laptop cause I'm leading the presentation. There is already 7 or 8 people in the room. As my team awaits the arrival of the rest of the attendees, a collegue yells down the table:

"So Sllim, I saw that your status on Facebook is 'no longer single'....."

WTF???!!!! INAPPROPRIATE!!!

Clearly, I had to get my mind right quickly and remember that I am at WORK and that although this broad has decided to be inappropriate that I should not follow suit. So I just say...

"I simply streamlined my profile. Thats all." "I didn't designate any other status option. Just removed that from my profile all together"

This folks, is why I hate Facebook. It enables nosey-ass people to be just that...NOSEY! I've actually considered deleting my Facebook profile for a while. If I knew my senior year of college what I know now about Facebook, I would have NEVER created a profile. It started out as this great "college-only" community. It was all fun and games. Then, suddenly my younger sis, who's in HS, was on...then my old boss...now my client's have profiles. NOT OK! I never had a Myspace page and Facebook without a doubt has become 10 times worst. It's not even fun anymore!!!

And then what makes it sooo bad is that people really take the internet, especially social networking sites, WAAAAAY tooo seriously. stupidGENIUS has an excellent post on his blog about this http://youngplusignorant.blogspot.com/2008/02/people-take-internet-way-too-seriously.html


Sllim

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Aretha Revisited

HOT ASS MESS. Imma need for Aretha to do better.

My bed is HOT...

At the risk of coming across as a complete idiot I'm going to share this story with you.

I noticed a welt on my left leg Monday morning in the shower. I'm thinking "hmmm...thats strange...I wonder what that came from". The only thing I've done differently recently was use a new lotion and add an electric blanket to my bed. I'm thinking maybe I'm having an allergic reaction to the lotion or maybe because the blanket was packed away it contianed bed bugs. But the welt didn't itch. So I'm like...maybe i bumped it and dont remember and let it go. Tuesday, I wake up and now theres 1 on my right thigh. Now I'm slightly concerned.

I get to work and share the story with a friend. We talk about the size, shape and location of the welts. I mention the lotion and blanket thing. As we talk and I reveal to him that I dont have the electric blanket OVER me and between sheets and other blankets....noo that would be too much like right...instead I have the electric blanket UNDER the fitted sheet and I'm lying on it (Yup...I'm doing the MOST). He concludes that these aren't bug bites or a rash but are burns.... The "welt" I found on my left thigh followed a night of sleeping on my left side. The "welt" on my right thigh appeared after sleeping on my right side.

Yes folks...I've managed to turn my bed into a plush version of a George Forman Grill and my dumbass is basically an oiled down chicken cutlet! I've done this in past winters with no problem. But now the blanket apparently has a short...sooooo...I basically put it on high fall asleep and god only knows what kind of heat variations happen while I sleep like a log in an empty forest.

The blanket has been removed...

Sllim

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Doing the MOST 101

So far I've gotten great feedback from everyone who have been reading. I'm quite surprised but really appreciate the support :0) The comments are AWESOME...however...yall are doing the MOST! I know majority (if not everyone) is a friend or family member...but please refrain from using my name in your comments. I know I'm an open book in life but yall are blowing my spot UP! Lol... So here's the deal...I actually have a pseudonym (look the word up!) Clearly everyone ignored it...lol.. Sllim Thinks Alot. You can call me Sllim. I chose Sllim for 2 reasons. 1 is pretty obvious. 2 is just as obvious if you look carefully... ;0)

I'm going to try not to mention friends in posts. Should I have to, they will also have pseudonyms.

Yes, I know stupidGENIUS...unfortunately. I've gotten a few questions asking if I know him and who he is. FYI...His comments should never be taken seriously...lol...

Keep reading...I'll keep writing.

Remember its Sllim...

Sunday, February 10, 2008

The World's Most Talented Crack-Head...

WOOOOOOOOOW...AND she actually performed "Rehab". LMAO. Just say no folks....Just say no....Or maybe not...apparently theres a chance that you will win a Grammy if you say yes....

WTF ARETHA????

I'm watching the Grammy's (right this moment). I love the fact that they paid tribute to soo many legends BUT Aretha.....come on Aretha. Everytime I see her...EVERYTIME ... shes in something unflattering. Not just unflattering but down right offensive. As a viewer I am offended. I completely understand and respect the fact that she's a living legend but so is Tina Turner, so is Patti LaBelle. Neither of them leave the house looking like....................theres not even a proper description for what she looks like. Wait, no there is. HOT ASS MESS!!! I saw a brief shot of Fantasia too....PLATINIUM and BLACK hair....really Fantasia...really. Leave the 2-tone hair to Remi Ma. It's the Grammy's not the Source Awards. HOT GHETTO ASS MESS!!!

Just waiting for the world's most talented crack-head....Amy Winehouse. She wins awards and performs at shows but yet we continually tell children to "Say no to drugs".....Am I the only 1 that sees a problem with this???

Thursday, February 7, 2008

"Aye Ma..."

****WARNING: POST MAY ELICIT ANGER IN FRIENDS, FAMILY AND MOST DECENT HUMAN BEINGS. READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED****

You've been warned. This post isn't funny...AT ALL

I went for dinner and drinks in Union Square last night with 2 friends. On the walk to the train, a young man approaches me...standing a mere foot away...

"Aye Ma, can I ask you something?"
I don't answer.
"Can I hit that ***** from the back...?" (said in the same manner as someone would say "Hi my name is...")
Look of shock
1 friend says "Is he serious..?"
I say "Hell NO!"...we keep walking...trying to pick up speed
young man proceeds..."I mean, I'm just saying I'd love to feel those *** cheeks smack against my thighs"
Keep walking....trying to ignore...pick up speed
"I'm saying...I can't ****?"
I yell back, "YOU CAN GET SOME ******* COUNSELING!"
he's not done yet..."If I go to counseling, can I **** after"
I yell back.."Do you realize how ******* disrespctful you are??? I've never had anyone say anything this disrespectful to me!"
He yells something unaudible...friends and I keep walking....stop to reflect on the 2 min verbal assualt....

.....I'm speechless....

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

SOUPER!

I'd like to say that I won't do more than 1 post a day but depending on what happens or what I may think of there may be a need for more than 1.

The story I just thought of required another post immediately. Last Friday I had soup and a grilled cheese delivered for lunch due to inclement weather. Ate the grilled cheese left the soup on my desk to eat throughout the day...or so I thought. I leave my office for I swear no more than 5 min. When I walk back in my officemate is standing at MY desk with paper towels drying wetspots....Folks....there is no logical reason for why she would be over here. We don't share anything...not a stapler, not tape, NOTHING. So I say "What are you doing?" she says back in her thick bulgarian accent (sounds kinda like Russian...filled with sounds as if spit is going to fly out at any moment) "Oh I hacd water and I tripicked and it spilled over here".............again.....we sit a good 3 feet away from each other....there's nothing on the floor for her to trip over. There is a chance that she could be a clutz but since we've shared an office nothing similar has happened. And when I look her desk theres no cup or mug....where the hell did this water come from...is there a leak in our ceiling that I don't know about.. I don't really buy her story but I let it go....UNTIL a strong scent of soup starts to exude from my desk.......I lean down and sniff 1 of the still damp spots on a piece of paper on my desk.....The smell is coming from that spot and a few other damp spots on my desk....I NEVER ATE THE SOUP. So how folks did soup get from the container to the paper? Why was she standing at my desk....YUP...she was EATING MY SOUP...I don't have definitive proof...but all evidence leads in that direction.

Who does stuff like that??? Why would anyone think it was ok to go to someone elses desk in broad freaking daylight, in the middle of the day and sneak soup....

I'm sure there will be those that think I'm drawing wild conclusions. But chick has been know to steal food. I just never thought anyone would be so bold as to attempt something like this when there is a good chance they'll get caught.

This folks is what I deem DOING THE MOST!

"Bitchassness"

For the past month or so I've thrown the idea of blogging around in my mind. To blog or not to blog thats been the question. I mean, I have an opinion on everything...my sagittarrian quality of blunt honesty often generates a few laughs (and sometimes hurt feelings but I have good intentions.....most of the time), I need a hobby and to be quite honest I don't do much at work. But then I would think who would really read my blog? My friends? Do I really want them knowing the crazy thoughts and ideas that run through my head? Then I thought...1...do I really care who reads it? 2....my friends already know me and know my thoughts can be "unconventional" and "abstract". 3....DO I REALLY CARE? And that folks is the bottomline...I don't care....these are just my thoughts do with them what you will.

So the straw that broke the camels back or the thing that threw me overboard was last nights episode of "Making the Band 4" and Diddy's...I mean Sean Jean's* "Bitchassness" speech. This was a CLASSIC moment in modern day TV folks. Nobody publicly humilates people like Mr. Combs*. I mean, Bentley would not be known by anybody if it weren't for his years of public humiliation as a "man servant". I'm sorry but is it just me or does Bentley shows signs of the disease that Diddy* so eloquently spoke of last night. And ummm...at 1 point was he NOT working for Bad Boy???? So the phrase "There will be no bitchassness at Bad Boy" is kinda invalid. Or maybe thats why Bentley is no longer Puffy's* "Man Servant" or maybe this "mandate" is a new 1 for Bad Boy. Hmmm....BUT the next time you watch "Making the Band" and there is a scene in Diddy's* office try to see the picture that is on the bureau to the front and right. Take a look at that and then let's talk about "bitchassness"....

All in all...the speech inspired me to let go of my own "bitchassness" and start this blog. After all "Bitchassness is hurting our community! It's a contagious sickness..."

I'll try to write often...Hope you enjoy....





* I wish I had the luxury of changing my name every 2 years or as I evolve from 1 person to the next...which oddly sounds like a mental disorder but thats a topic for another day.